Undercover

I took this song title from The Rolling Stones. I keep making jokes that the Stones will be soon touring in wheel chairs, yet every time they launch yet another world circuit, they never cease to amaze me how good they are. This title isn't from one of their better tunes, as always, that's not what I'm writing about, so it doesn't really matter.

In previous posts, I've stated my feelings about some of the clothing styles of the moment. This is another such tirade. For some peculair reason, hooded sweat shirts have become all the rage. These have been around for as long as I can remember, and I'm over half a century old. To me, hoods have always been a mark of dipshitness. When I was in my twenties, I wanted a leather jacket and went to several department stores looking for something to give me a "tough guy" mystique. The fact that I'm grossly underweight and couldn't intimidate a fruit fly, had nothing to do with the fact that I liked the way they looked. The jackets offered by department stores like Macy's, were very conservative. They seemed to be geared towards yuppie, brief case toting, business types. I started going to boutique shops in hopes of finding a cool jacket that fit my thin frame. On once such venture, a store clerk saw me poking through the merchandise and came over to offer assistance.
" May I help you?" He asked.
" Yes, I'm looking for a leather jacket" I explained.
" Do you want one with a hood?" He asked. The look on my face probably said more than I could have. I envisioned the Hell's Angels motoring through a town on their Harley's when a sudden rain started falling, so they all pull off the road to put up their hoods. The nurdness factor is off the charts. So now we've got a whole generation that walks around with their hoods up, and it's supposed to be cool. I'm not buying it! Even more preposterous is that, once these clowns get out of the weather, they leave the hoods up. I hang out at a local branch of Hooters, and seeing a hooded twerp shoving a hamburger into the void covered by the cloth that won't keep you dry in the rain, is like going to a geriatric Ku Klux Klan meeting. The intimidation fact or is: Zero. Even the name is one that doesn't inspire any emotion.
Hoodie. How cute is that? It sounds like a something adults say when they're around a newborn baby, " Ohhhhh, look at little baby Johnny, isn't he sweet. Look at those darling little fingers. Yes Johnny, that's such a cute little hoodie you've got on, ohhh yesss, you're soooooo cute..." Try to picture a stereotype bully walking into a store and asking to check out the Hoodies, it's a stretch. The girlyness is extreme. Am I the only person with in possession of any testosterone on the planet? I'd rather be tortured than have to wear one, let alone try to buy one.
In the form vs. function category, they do have their place. Worn underneath a jacket that will stop wind, they can keep you fairly warm, but on the other hand, so can lots of other more macho looking outerwear. So I think people who wear hoodies need to examine their wadrobe a bit carefullly, unless robbery is part of their agenda.