I pickpocketed this title from Athens Geogria's own R.E.M. I'm writing this on December 30th 2010. For the past few weeks I've been seeing and hearing lists of peoples choices for best movies, books, songs etc of the year. I haven't seen any releases in the theaters, only read a couple of books and am getting further and further out of touch with pop music and the people who make it. For many years I listened to The Howard Stern show on the radio, but due to federal regulation and him being fined so often for content, he took a deal on satelite radio and I stopped hearing his show. I began listening to an upstart radio station whose call letters are WRXP . At first I liked them but soon grew weary of the typical commerical radio blight. Overplaying the same songs, lack of variety and idiot disc jockeys. This is all a part of a large phenomena I call, "The Blanding Of America". An effort to be so politically correct that everything morphs into a lump of boring white bread. I cannot see why people get excited over bands like Phoenix, Cold Play and The Black Keys. The songs I hear on the radio are so dull and unmoving that I feel like saying, "Wake me when it's over" everytime one comes on the air, which is too often for my tastes. I began listening to the classic rock station which is equally disappointing. In the afternoon the D.J. plays a feature called "The Three At Three". He plays three songs with a theme and the listeners have to guess what the common bond is. I like the feature but the D.J. is annoying. He's a sports twerp, and spouts off too often his feelings about stuff that is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I am reasonably certain that none of this will change in 2011, so I am going to print my list of rock songs I would be happy to NEVER hear again for the rest of my life.
10) Paradise By The Dashboard Light-I was in college when " Bat Out Of Hell" came out and I liked Meatloaf when I first heard this record. It became a huge hit and was played to death. Now I cringe everytime I hear anything by Mr. Lee and immediately switch stations. I am truly appreciative that I didn't spend my hard earned cash on any Meatloaf discs.
9)Rosalita by Spruce Stringbean. I was also in college when the Boss hit the scene. At first I was indifferent to his music. All the D.J.s were ranting and raving about him, yet I failed to see what was so innovative about him or his tunes. The guys in the room next door in my dorm would put on Rosalita, and yell, scream or shout along with it. Once the song ended, they'd replace the needle and do it all over again. At first I found this amusing, but that quickly wore off. Born To Run was released that year and the radio stations pounded it into the dirt. My disinterest in Asbury Park's homeboy grew into dislike and I soon detested every song he sang. ( I do like Greg Kihns' cover of "Rendezvous") I hope not to ever hear any Bruce music for the rest of my life.
8) Blinded By The Light by Manfred Manns Earth Band. As much as I despise Springsteens' music, This cover version is hundreds of times worse. It is long, boring, and irritiating. Manfred Mann had big hits in the past, "Doo Wah Diddy" the most notable and I like it. I also like their cover of Bob Dylans' " The Mighty Quinn" but when I hear the long intro to Blinded, I have to press the button.
7) Live And Let Die-After the Beatles broke up, Paul McCartney formed a band called, "Wings". They had numerous hits, as one would expect. Most of them did not make me want to own a Wings album. When Paul was tapped to write a theme song for a James Bond movie, that was BIG music news. Live And Let Die was a crappy Bond movie, the resulting song was a lemon to my ears.
6) Aja-Steely Dan was another one of those bands that I was indifferent to. I didn't mind Aja when it came out, but again it was overplayed and I got sick of hearing peoople refer to them, as "musical geniuses". If they're geniuses, why are their songs so blah?
5) Lady. This bag of excrement should bannish the band Styx from the radio for eternity. I actually used to like some of their early stuff, and the Paradise Theater album isn't completely unlistenable, but they have a ton of crappy songs to go along with the few I like. They were up at the radio station where I worked and were pushing one of their tours. They said their show would make "The Wall" look like a childs' game. Like a fool, I spent my heard earned money on tickets. Pink Floydd has nothing to worry about. Styx should add an N to their name, Stynx is more appropriate.
4) Now I add a clause to my choice. In the late sixities there was a band called, "The Move". They had some cool songs and soon evolved into The Electric Light Orchestra. When I was in high school they released a kick-ass version of Chuck Berry's "Roll Over Beethoven". It got played, replayed and overplayed. It was at the point where you'd hear it on one station, switch to a different spot on the radio dial and it would be playing there too. Another press of the button and, BINGO there it would be. There's no need to hear it three and four times an hour but the song was inescapable. I soon revolted and refused to spend money on anything that ELO put out. I like their version of the song, but I heard it enough to last a lifetime.
3) We Are The Champions/We Will Rock You. I like Queens' early works. They fell into the category known at the time as "Glitter Rock". "Leave Yourself Alive" was the first song by them I ever heard and I like it, they have some serious rockers, but their biggest hits are the wimpy ones. From a musical point of view, this is a bag of shit. The starting point for other turkeys like "Bohemian Rhapsody", "Bicycle Race" and " Fat Bottom Girls".
2) As I sit here typing this, my mind is racing to come up with all the songs that have me pressing the radio buttons and I have to think back to the 1980s when there was a ton of disposable music out there. Sure "Kharma Cameleon"is a stinkbomb, but it's so forgetable that it no longer bothers me as much as it did back then, I feel that way about most of the stuff that made me cringe at the time. There was a band called EBN OZN, who put out a serious piece of drech called "A,E,I,O,U and sometimes Y". This was absolutely dreadful! But nobody plays it anymore, so it is forgotten, along with a host of other musical dung heaps. So they don't count. This crapola I do hear and wish I didn't. Jesus I Just Alright-By The Doobie Brothers. I never liked the Doobs and this is the worst of their compositions. I even hate the name, Doobie Brothers, it sounds like something you step in. "Hey man, take off your shoes, you're tracking some kind of gunk all over the clean carpet, what is that?"
" Oh no, I stepped in doobie!"
1) American Pie-This song SUCKS! I Never want to hear it again! Period!!!
Okay so there's one of my lists. I have to add a few "honorable mentions" or maybe "Dishonorable mentions" since they are also songs I despise. " The Sultans Of Swing" by Dire Straits is another mid 70's tune that I had no feelings about at first, but was also pounded into the soil by the local radio stations. I keep hearing about what an impressive guitarist Mark Knofler is, but that means zero if you hate the songs he plays...right? Another briar under the saddle is by a band that I like and has some kick-ass tunes but their most famous one bites the bag. I'm talking about Bachman Turner Overdrive's "Takin' Care Of Business". Garbage! Early in my music listening stages, I took a liking to The Steve Miller Band. I'll never know why. His music is appealing to someboy who is perpetually a fifteen year old girl. Real bubble-gum tripe. I'm still at odds as to which is the most repulsive. "Living In The U.S.A" is the one that's not completely nauseating, the rest can take their place in the dung heap of music that's overplayed and not deserving of that honor.
Having taken my own stab as musicianship, I am really moved by the bass guitar. I was trying to think of the ten best bass songs, but there are too many where the bass is so overpowered by the rest of the music. Any song by Cream, Led Zeppelin, and The Who all have wicked bass, but the rest of the song is generally so well composed that the individual instruments are overlooked. The Doors have really great bass lines but they don't have a bass player. Ray Manzarek did all the bass with the foot pedals of his keyboards, so can I count them? Being an over-opinionated doofus, I'll give it a try anyway.
10) Come Together-I am NOT a Beatle freak, I always liked the Fab Four but I was never avid about my admiration. It wasn't until after I got out of college and I started playing bass that I actually noticed how complex Mr. McCartney's bass lines were. This one truly sticks out in my mind.
9) Money-Pink Floydds' music marvel, Dark Side Of The Moon is the epitomy of space rock. Yet this pop tune has a bass line that automatically sticks out in my mind. Kudos Roger Waters!
8) Time Of The Season-It doesn't have to be complex to be catchy. I can't even recall the bass players name from The Zombies. This one is etched in my head.
7) Birthday-The Beatles. Again hats off to Paul!
6) Twilight Zone-Golden Earring. Another example of how a basic riff can stand out and make a song.
5) The Real Me-The Who. I know I said that the bass is often overlooked, but this one is just too extreme to omit. I miss John Entwhistles' influence.
4) What Is And What Should Never Be-Led Zeppelin. John Paul Jones's work just can't be ignored, it's too good. All of their songs have serious bass lines, but this is one of my faves.
3) I Want You, She's So Heavy-The Beatles. A hat-trick for Sir Paul McCartney.
2) Mystery Achievement-The Pretenders. The late Pete Farndon has a real classic here!
1) Blood And Roses-The Smithereens. Yes I chose a band from New Jersey with their riff as the best bass line in rock and roll. I asked friends what their choices were, and I got responses like " Under Peressure" which is memorable, although it is a song I really dislike. Blood and Roses is simple yet catchy, and the song is intense enough to make it a stand out in rock history!
Honorable mention: I know this one will cause some snickers, some outrage and some agreement, but the immortal, " Inna Gadda Da Vida" has a bass hook that's unforgetable and easily recognizable.
Okay this is a category that I made up simply to get plugs in for songs I have a hard time categorizing. I call them "Crescendo songs". They start out kind of slow and ballady, and then go into instrumental jams that get progressively more intense, like a freight train rolling down a thirty seven degree incline, picking up speed as they thunder down the track, and seem to be heading towards a fatal collision.
10) Highway Song-Blackfoot. Yes this was a song that got a bit of radio play during the height of the Southern Rock daze of the mid to late seventies.
9) Standing At The Station-Ten Years After. My all time favorite rock and roll band, and most rock neophytes know them only for two songs, "I'm going home" and "I'd love to change the world". Two good tunes, but there's so much more to this band than the Classic Rock pair that get any radio play. If you've got Pandora, it's worth a listen.
8) Crazy On You-Heart. I know it seems like all of these songs came from the same era of music, but it was a trend that didn't survive, what can I say?7) In Memory Of Elizabeth Reed-The Allman Brothers. Back when both of the Allmans were alive their stuff was tuff to beat. The "Brothers and Sisters" album was the point where they jumped the shark. The only reason this one landed so high on the list is that it doesn't get hairy at the end. It's more like a disconnected caboose rolling into the station rather than barrellling down a twisty mountain track at breakneck speed.
6) Stairway To Heaven-Led Zeppelin. Yeah I hate to add this to the mix, but after starting this thread, my mind went blank and I can't think of some of the better examples. You can be thankful I didn't place it at number one.
5) Slow Ride-Foghat. This is a band that the critics love to hate, but in my opinion, they're one of the best Boogie Bands that ever played. I'm not sure if it's a compliment or a face slap that this song appeared on an episode of Seinfeld.
4) Nantucket Sleighride-Mountain. One of the most overlooked guitar virtuosos of the sixties and seventies, is Leslie West. Anoter band that has tons of terrific songs but only a few get any radio play. That's one of the reasons I dislike commercial radio so much.
3) Green Grass And High Tide-The Outlaws. Yep, another Southern Rock Band makes the list, they practically invented the style and certainly excelled at it.
2) Don't Run Me Down-Foghat. I never heard this tune on the radio, and I cannot understand why. It cooks! When Lonesome Dave Peverett played slide guitar, I can't imagine anyone not tapping their foot along with it.
1) Free Bird-Lynrd Skynrd. It's almost a cliche, but they set the standard with this song.
There is another category that I consider to be one of the most importatn in rock assessment, and that is best musical jams. This is still up in the air for me. It was a rebellious thing back in the psychedellic era, to go against the norm and come out wiht songs that had long musical interludes ( not to be confused with quaaludes). The typical radio hit was two minutes forty three seconds long, and that's what I used to hear on the am radio in our car. It was Labor Day weekend of 1967 when we were driving home from Cape Cod and got stuck in a huge traffic jam due to a backup at the Throggs Neck Bridge. The station was drifting in and out, ( we had analog radios in those days) so my mother switched to a Connecticutt station, at least that's what I think it was. The Doors had a hit at the time called "Light My Fire". That song came on the station she had just switched to but it wasn't the two and a half minute radio edit, it was the album version. That lasts about seven minutes, to this day, I'm convinced it is one of the best rock and roll musical jams of all times. Depending on your musical influences, there are any number of candidates. The Grateful Dead built a steady following on their jamming talents, The Allman Brothers, Jefferson Airplane, Santana, Jimi Hendrix, any of those sixites bands can be named, it doesn't much matter which. In current times, the only semi-new band that comes to mind is Phish, and even they have slipped into relative obscurity. I know I'm going to ruffle some feathers with the choices I've made but here goes,
10) Keep On Chooglin'-Creedence Clearwater Revival. The live version is like somebody pulled the cork out of the bottle and the musical genii got loose.
9) Soul Sacrifice-Santana. Live versions are the bulk of my choices, because the bands just went off on a tangent and some engineer caught it on tape, yeah, some are edited, just about all of the recordings that appeared on the original Woodstock album have been shortened, but they're still incredible.
8) Stormy Monday-Mountain. The version that appears on the Atlanta Pop Festival/ Isle Of Wight album is killer!
7) Whippin' Post-The Allman Brothers Live at the Filmore.
6) Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad-Derek And The Dominoes Live.
5) You and I-Yes a much overlooked band as far as trendsetting music goes. I forget the name of their live album.
4) Stone Cold Fever-Humble Pie. When Peter Frampton and Steve Mariott were still the front men the Rockin' The Filmore album had a ton of good tunes.
3) Voodo Chile A Slight Return-Jimi Hendrix. Any version of this is too good to ignore.
2) I Can't Keep From Crying Sometimes-Ten Years After. Another from the Atlanta Pop Festival/Isle Of Wight LP. and of course I already mentioned my number one pick for the best musical jam. Hats off to the recently reprieved Jim Morrison, Ray Manzarek, John Densmore, and Robbie Krieger.
And so I say goodbye to the year 2010 with my typically snarky attitude about music. I welcome other opinons to see what I may have left out, or to hear what those opposed think. In 2011 you can make your own fucking list and put me in my place, if you think you can! Ta ta!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Hungry
This title I borrowed from Paul Revere And The Raiders. Back in the mid sixities, when the "British Invasion" was occurring in music, the Americans fought back with our own brand of contemporary rock 'n' roll. Bands like " The Young Rascals", " Tommy James And The Shondells" and Sonny & Cher were making hits to counteract what the Brits were importing from across the pond. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I still like that stuff. But that's not the subject I'm barking about today. No I'm griping about....sliders.
Lately I've been hearing tons of ads for sliders. They are a new breed of hamburgers that are small. That's about all I know about these things. The name alone is enough to make me want to get a stent in my veins. The title "slider" implies a greasy, slimy piece of undercooked meat. Hardly something I'd go out of my way to ingest. The most ads I hear are for White Castle, one of the earliest fast food establishments here on the east coast. Their hamburgers are capable of creating enough gas to power our major metropolis into the next millenium. So a White Castle slider sounds like double the cholesterol and five times the gas. But as somebody who keeps missing the mark as to what is popular and what's not. These things are BIG. Not size-wise but as a phenomenon. There's a definite market for this type of belly bomb, why is a mystery to me. Is this just a conspiracy to serve us less and charge more? Our news services are peppered with reports about the obesity plague in America, and yet we still want to eat sliders. Just an aside, but not only are we deluged with warnings about how overweight we are as a nation, but we're also innundated with lawsuits about models being unrealistically thin and how many people are developing eating disorders to mimic and unrealistic image. What's it going to be? We can't have it both ways! Either we have to decide if we're going to be a nation of fat slobs or aenemic anorexics, which is better for us? I'm not aware of many fast food establishments that serve fruit or veggies to any noticeable degree. Sure, you can get a salad at Wendys or McD's but is that really nutritious? Especially once it's drowned in oily dressing? I'll never cease to wonder why so many of the things I find unappealing are so popular. I guess I'm just out of synch with the world I live in, or maybe I'm the one that's right and everyone else in the world is wrong. I wonder if I'll ever find out which is the right answer?
Lately I've been hearing tons of ads for sliders. They are a new breed of hamburgers that are small. That's about all I know about these things. The name alone is enough to make me want to get a stent in my veins. The title "slider" implies a greasy, slimy piece of undercooked meat. Hardly something I'd go out of my way to ingest. The most ads I hear are for White Castle, one of the earliest fast food establishments here on the east coast. Their hamburgers are capable of creating enough gas to power our major metropolis into the next millenium. So a White Castle slider sounds like double the cholesterol and five times the gas. But as somebody who keeps missing the mark as to what is popular and what's not. These things are BIG. Not size-wise but as a phenomenon. There's a definite market for this type of belly bomb, why is a mystery to me. Is this just a conspiracy to serve us less and charge more? Our news services are peppered with reports about the obesity plague in America, and yet we still want to eat sliders. Just an aside, but not only are we deluged with warnings about how overweight we are as a nation, but we're also innundated with lawsuits about models being unrealistically thin and how many people are developing eating disorders to mimic and unrealistic image. What's it going to be? We can't have it both ways! Either we have to decide if we're going to be a nation of fat slobs or aenemic anorexics, which is better for us? I'm not aware of many fast food establishments that serve fruit or veggies to any noticeable degree. Sure, you can get a salad at Wendys or McD's but is that really nutritious? Especially once it's drowned in oily dressing? I'll never cease to wonder why so many of the things I find unappealing are so popular. I guess I'm just out of synch with the world I live in, or maybe I'm the one that's right and everyone else in the world is wrong. I wonder if I'll ever find out which is the right answer?
Friday, September 17, 2010
TV Is King
I grabbed this title from a song by The Tubes. It came out in the 1980's and was a minor hit on some progressive stations, but that aside, I'm sure it was quickly forgotten by all but a few rock afficianados. But as always, this isn't about the music it's about...television.
In the past few decades, more and more vintage television shows have been morphed into Hollywood movies. In most cases, they were incredibly BAD. It makes me wonder what the hell has happened to creative writing? Can't those doofuses who finance these disasters read? Here's a list of some of the more memorable forgettable movies
in no particular order....
Dennis The Menace( although this was a TV show based on a comic strip)
Dragnet
The Wild Wild West
Mission Impossible
Bewitched
The Addams family
The Beverly Hillbillies
The Flintstones ( TWO bad movies based on a cartoon)
Charlie's Angels
Lost In Space
Get Smart
The Brady Bunch
Maverick
and the ever dreadful...Starsky and Hutch
Just to name a few, I'm sure there are some others that I've forgotten for very good reasons. But I have to wonder why so much of what we see has gotten solame? I used to look forward to the start of the new televsion season, which always coincided with the start of a new school year. I'd go to class and we'd talk about the shows we saw the night beofre. There was a writer's strike a few years ago, and that put the television season off to a late start. In the interim a bunch of "Reality Shows" wer eput on, one because they required no writing. They were inexpensive to produce, since there were no high priced stars to command big prices. The production costs are minimalized by the lack of sets and props. I have to admit that I actually watch many of these shows. The most famous is "Survivor" and after twenty seasons, I'm still hooked. I also like the programs dealing with custom cars, bikes etc. The novelty wears off too fast though. I liked "Monster Garage" and "Monster House" they had short runs and didn't ge to the point where they were tiresome, although Monster Garage's projects became a bit too bizarre towards the end of its' run. "American Chopper" has gotten to be more about the fmaily squabbles of the Teutel clan, which I have zero interest in. I want to see how radical customs are created, like in "The Great Biker Build Off". Even "American Hot Rod" got to be overdramtized as it grew older. One never knows how much the editing process plays in how this phenomena proceeds. What's left in and out can totally change one's perspective, so a bit of creative cutting can make a mountain out of the proverbial molehill. The stations that watch tend to have the stuff I want to see over the old networks. I don't care who the "American Idol" is, who wins "Dancing With The Stars" or who wins " The Amazing Race". There are shows about cooking, hair cutting, getting ahead in business, fashion modeling, weigt loss, and a plethora of other subjects, each with a core of followers. I consider myself to be a fairly competent writer and I would enter a contest to prove it to myself that I'm not delusional...but I cannot imagine a more boring reality show than one about writing. so I guess that's about all I can add to this tirade.
In the past few decades, more and more vintage television shows have been morphed into Hollywood movies. In most cases, they were incredibly BAD. It makes me wonder what the hell has happened to creative writing? Can't those doofuses who finance these disasters read? Here's a list of some of the more memorable forgettable movies
in no particular order....
Dennis The Menace( although this was a TV show based on a comic strip)
Dragnet
The Wild Wild West
Mission Impossible
Bewitched
The Addams family
The Beverly Hillbillies
The Flintstones ( TWO bad movies based on a cartoon)
Charlie's Angels
Lost In Space
Get Smart
The Brady Bunch
Maverick
and the ever dreadful...Starsky and Hutch
Just to name a few, I'm sure there are some others that I've forgotten for very good reasons. But I have to wonder why so much of what we see has gotten solame? I used to look forward to the start of the new televsion season, which always coincided with the start of a new school year. I'd go to class and we'd talk about the shows we saw the night beofre. There was a writer's strike a few years ago, and that put the television season off to a late start. In the interim a bunch of "Reality Shows" wer eput on, one because they required no writing. They were inexpensive to produce, since there were no high priced stars to command big prices. The production costs are minimalized by the lack of sets and props. I have to admit that I actually watch many of these shows. The most famous is "Survivor" and after twenty seasons, I'm still hooked. I also like the programs dealing with custom cars, bikes etc. The novelty wears off too fast though. I liked "Monster Garage" and "Monster House" they had short runs and didn't ge to the point where they were tiresome, although Monster Garage's projects became a bit too bizarre towards the end of its' run. "American Chopper" has gotten to be more about the fmaily squabbles of the Teutel clan, which I have zero interest in. I want to see how radical customs are created, like in "The Great Biker Build Off". Even "American Hot Rod" got to be overdramtized as it grew older. One never knows how much the editing process plays in how this phenomena proceeds. What's left in and out can totally change one's perspective, so a bit of creative cutting can make a mountain out of the proverbial molehill. The stations that watch tend to have the stuff I want to see over the old networks. I don't care who the "American Idol" is, who wins "Dancing With The Stars" or who wins " The Amazing Race". There are shows about cooking, hair cutting, getting ahead in business, fashion modeling, weigt loss, and a plethora of other subjects, each with a core of followers. I consider myself to be a fairly competent writer and I would enter a contest to prove it to myself that I'm not delusional...but I cannot imagine a more boring reality show than one about writing. so I guess that's about all I can add to this tirade.
Monday, May 24, 2010
I Must've Got Lost
This is a title from The J. Geils Band that's vintage early 1970's. I considered using Commander Cody's " Lost In The Ozone Again" but I'm not sure that he wrote that tune, so I stuck with a sure thing. The local Classic Rock station in New York, does a feature called, " The Three At Three" where they play three songs with a common thread and you have to figure out what it is. Today, May 24th, 2010, Ken Dashow used the tune I wracked my brain deciding on, so I lose points for "originality". Yesterday the 23rd was the final episode of the ABC TV series "Lost".
J. Geils aside, I liked "Lost" but I was confused by it. Now I no longer have to think about it.
It started with a plane crash on an undiscovered Island, and the survivors go through a series of bizarre encounters, that got increasingly strange. The coolness factor was high, but that opened it up to a lot of cop-out reasons for what was going on, the final cop-out being the ending. For six seasons one was left wondering how things would turn out, and the explanation was low on the creativity scale, despite being well done and tactfully presented. I wasn't impressed. The ending of " The Sopranos" was harshly criticized by most viewers, but I found it less annoying than what "Lost" fed us. Characters would escape the island, then somehow either return or get killed due to something that resulted from their being on that weird, mysterious chunk of earth. Characters fell in love, hated each other, cured themselves of life influencing disabilities or diseases, and it all seemed to be leading up to some all-encompassing revelation. That reveallation was...they were already dead. None survived the plane crash, so how was it that new characters could come and go in this make-believe afterlife? Why were there alternative timelines and parallell universes if the one they were a part of had ceased to be? It's easy, make up a cop-out ending and voila, presto, abra cadabra, everything is cool. If that doesn't spell " Cop-Out" I don't know what does.
In other network TV endings, tonight, May 24th is the final episode of the Keifer Sutherland series, "24". This is a show that has gone way past it's prime and needs to end, because it has crossed the line of entertaining into the realm of 'incredibly preposterous'. It is due for a decent burial, although there is now talk of a "24" movie. I can't see that happening. Who would sit in a theater for 24 hours, or go to twelve two hour epsiodes to see how it ends, especially at todays movie prices? So what concept is going to play out in that case? The world is full of talented, creative writers, why aren't any of them writing for the television shows that I watch? The one exception is " 30 Rock", but that's a comedy and the idiocy of the dramas has made them more humorous than the sit-coms.
J. Geils aside, I liked "Lost" but I was confused by it. Now I no longer have to think about it.
It started with a plane crash on an undiscovered Island, and the survivors go through a series of bizarre encounters, that got increasingly strange. The coolness factor was high, but that opened it up to a lot of cop-out reasons for what was going on, the final cop-out being the ending. For six seasons one was left wondering how things would turn out, and the explanation was low on the creativity scale, despite being well done and tactfully presented. I wasn't impressed. The ending of " The Sopranos" was harshly criticized by most viewers, but I found it less annoying than what "Lost" fed us. Characters would escape the island, then somehow either return or get killed due to something that resulted from their being on that weird, mysterious chunk of earth. Characters fell in love, hated each other, cured themselves of life influencing disabilities or diseases, and it all seemed to be leading up to some all-encompassing revelation. That reveallation was...they were already dead. None survived the plane crash, so how was it that new characters could come and go in this make-believe afterlife? Why were there alternative timelines and parallell universes if the one they were a part of had ceased to be? It's easy, make up a cop-out ending and voila, presto, abra cadabra, everything is cool. If that doesn't spell " Cop-Out" I don't know what does.
In other network TV endings, tonight, May 24th is the final episode of the Keifer Sutherland series, "24". This is a show that has gone way past it's prime and needs to end, because it has crossed the line of entertaining into the realm of 'incredibly preposterous'. It is due for a decent burial, although there is now talk of a "24" movie. I can't see that happening. Who would sit in a theater for 24 hours, or go to twelve two hour epsiodes to see how it ends, especially at todays movie prices? So what concept is going to play out in that case? The world is full of talented, creative writers, why aren't any of them writing for the television shows that I watch? The one exception is " 30 Rock", but that's a comedy and the idiocy of the dramas has made them more humorous than the sit-coms.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Heart Shaped Box
I swiped this title from Nirvana's second album. Today is St. Valentine's Day, a day when Love Is In The Air...allegedly. It is also a long weekend, tomorrow, Monday is Presidents Day. It was this weekend in 1987 that my last girlfriend, left some vital clues that she was no longer interested in being associated with me. I think it would have been a whole lot easier if she had just told me, but people make all kinds of decisions which others cannot figure out. This is just an example.
I hate to admit this, but looking back, I can feel pretty safe in saying that I'm not a very good boyfriend. I have no idea what women want and I'm terrible at figuring out what is the right or wrong thing to say, and I often get them mixed up. That aside, I've been alone so long, that I've lost my ability to compromise, a vital part of a lasting and enduring relationship. I've become self centered, since I'm the only person that I really have to deal with closely. One of my old girlfriends classified me as, " A Disposable Person" . At first I took this as a good-natured barb, but she seemed to hit the nail right on the head. It was early in our courtship and she didn't know me very well when she said it, but I am NOT the type of person that people miss, or cannot live without. When I am out of sight, I am truly out of mind. I certainly wish I could change that, but I've been me for so long, I don't think I could pull it off without coming across as a phony or a poseur, which I consdered to be worse, so that's basically what I'm stuck with.
In the early to mid-1980's I worked at a local radio station. It was during that time that the local newspaper, Long Island's Newsday began running personal ads. I was producing the morning show and one of the more valuable lessons I learned was, 'get material where ever you can'. So I began skimming the personals in search of humor, and I did write some moderately amusing sketches as a result, but the side-effect of reading these, was that I began to think, " Hey, she sounds like my kind of girl" and I started answering these pleas for romance. I wrote what I considered to be amusing, engaging and offbeat responses to women. When I got no responses, I began to feel like I was taking the wrong approach, yet I didn't want to alter my strategy, since I felt it accurately reflected my personality ( or lack thereof). One of the caveats was that a photograph was to be enclosed. At the time I was hovering around one hundred and twenty five to one hundred and thirty pounds, and often looked like a cadaver in snapshots. Since I was a loner, there wasn't anybody that I felt I could ask to take pictures of me, who could do a decent job of it. This is before digital photography, so I'd set up my 35mm camera on a tripod and use the 30 second timer to go and get in the picture. The problem with this is, that until the film was developed, I had no clue as to how they looked. I'd go through rolls only to find them unfocused, under-exposed, un-centered or just plain scary looking.
I became a regular at the 90 minute photo booth near my apartment, in hopes of getting the shot that would win the heart of a beautiful girl. The results were the same. I then began putting in the caveat, " I can undersand if you don't want to meet me, but please return the photograph" at the end of each attemtp to meet Ms. Right. Still nothing. I finally began including self-addressed, stamped envelopes with my responses. of all the mail I sent out, I only got one back. The gal wrote that she was six feet one inch tall and didn't feel comfortable dating a guy shorter than herself, which I considered to be understandable. It was at that point that I began posting my own ads, hoping that the fish would come to me, rather than trolling empty waters. I specified that I wanted to date women who were slim, thin, slender, petite, and weighed less than I did. My friend Mark told me that I better be ready to be lonely a Longgggggg time. Boy, was he ever right! I got three responses, one had no picturei and was written in pigeon English, which made it sound like this gal was looking for a green card. The seond was from a woman who looked to be older than my mother and twice as large, and third was type-written and easy to read, but was from a guy in the Suffolk County Correctional Center. Three strikes and I was out. From time to time, in desperation I'll give these types of hook-up media a try and each time I have to ask myself, "Why do I put myself through this type of torture?"
For me, dating is like work, I put in my forty hours and the boss says, " You did a good job but I'm going to have to pay you next week, we're a little bit short..." At first you shrug it off, but when it happens time and again, you have to tell yourself," I cannot afford to keep this up!" I keep doing the legwork but not reaping any rewards. I met one girl who had to weight at least 180 pounds. I don't understand why people think the person they're meeting won't notice, it's like they're setting themselves up for rejection.
On the other hand, there's no formula for what a person will like and won't like. I was meeting a girl in a bar/grille on a Wednesday evening. It had snowed earlier in the week and the streets weren't bustling with activity. The place she suggested had a bar that ran against the south wall. The door was on the west side and there was a step up to the bar area and a sunken eating area to the north side. The bartender was chatting up a couple who were parked at the eastern corner. I sat close to the door, at the south west corner , so I'd be the first person she saw when she walked in. I was served a club soda in a goblet the size of a small goldfish bowl. A gal walked in and I stood to introduce myself, she stepped into the sunken eating area, which was dark and hard to see into. I sat back down. A short time later, she came out of the area and asked if I was Tony. When I affirmed that, the look of disappointment on her face was like a neon billboard.
" Why do I put myself through this?" I asked myself, sat down and bought her the obligatory drink. We chatted for a bout half an hour and then she told me she had to leave. I thanked her and then left myself wondering what the next step was.
Flash forward several years. I was watching the television program "CBS Sunday Morning" it's an hour and a half program about arts and entertainment, done in a style sort of like "Sixty Minutes" but a little more lighthearted. They ran a feature about the internet dating site E-Harmony, basically gawking over their success rate for matching people up and how many had gotten married and were living happily ever after. The ads on the tube all stated, " Join now and get your first connections for free. This led me to believe that it is no bargain as far as cost goes, so I never bothered to look deeper into it. After afew months of seeing their ads, I decided to see what it cost. I got on-line and read all the fine print and those long, tedious and confusing terms and saw no mention of fees, so I continued with the sign-up process. Next I was faced with filling out the personality profile. Four hundred and fifty questions of profiling. At the time the TV show, " Rock Star Supernova" was running so at nine o'clock I had to stop to watch the show, dashing back and forth to my computer during the commercials to answer another question or two. It was well past the eleven o'clock news, and into the Letterman show that I finally finished the questionaire portion. Next I had to wait while all the data was correlated and see what they had for me. I got a note stating, 'that even E-Harmony cannot find a suitable match for everyone'. At least they didn't charge me for that tidbit of self-confidence busting.
So here it is February 14th 2010, and I haven't any girlfriends or even any potential girlfriends in the wings. Thinking back to this weekend twenty three years ago, the girl I'd been seeing I was making extra efforts to insure that she'd keep seeing me. She had stopped being home when I called her, and didn't return my calls. I called her at work, where she couldn't dtich me.
" Are you avoiding me?"I asked.
" Oh no, it's nothing like that..." She let the sentence hang.
" Well this is the long weekend and Valentine's day, I'm off from work and I was wondering if we could do something?"
" You could give me a call..."
" That's what I'm doing. You haven't returned my calls for two weeks"
" Things have been kind of crazy, I'm just getting ready for when I go to England, call me at my other job"
" Okay, I'll call you Sunday night" Feeling a bit relieved, I convinced myself that I'd just let things get blown out of proportion in my head. I went out and picked up a heart-shaped box of chocolates, sexy lingerie, and a long stemmed rose. She worked nights at a Pizzaria and generally got off around eleven thirty p.m. I called at ten, only to have whoever answered the phone tell me that she took off early that evening. I packed all the stuff she'd left at my apartment, along wih the drying rose, box of chocolates and black lace teddy into a big box and on Tuesday I sent it UPS to her, with a note saying that if she didn't want to go out with me anymore, all she had to do was say so. I don't know why she had to let me think that things wer a lright, I'd think that she'd want to tell me just to get me off her case, but as I stated earlier, I have no clue how women think and I suppose I never will.
There are lots of Conspiracy Theorists who say that St. Valentines day isn't a real holiday and that it was invented by corporations, yet the legend of the holiday goes back long before Hallmark and Hershey's were big industries, so who's to say? I just hate the feeling like I'm not a part of it because I'm a solo act and don't have anyone to lavish my affections on. On the up side, think of the money I save not buying those heart-shaped boxes!
I hate to admit this, but looking back, I can feel pretty safe in saying that I'm not a very good boyfriend. I have no idea what women want and I'm terrible at figuring out what is the right or wrong thing to say, and I often get them mixed up. That aside, I've been alone so long, that I've lost my ability to compromise, a vital part of a lasting and enduring relationship. I've become self centered, since I'm the only person that I really have to deal with closely. One of my old girlfriends classified me as, " A Disposable Person" . At first I took this as a good-natured barb, but she seemed to hit the nail right on the head. It was early in our courtship and she didn't know me very well when she said it, but I am NOT the type of person that people miss, or cannot live without. When I am out of sight, I am truly out of mind. I certainly wish I could change that, but I've been me for so long, I don't think I could pull it off without coming across as a phony or a poseur, which I consdered to be worse, so that's basically what I'm stuck with.
In the early to mid-1980's I worked at a local radio station. It was during that time that the local newspaper, Long Island's Newsday began running personal ads. I was producing the morning show and one of the more valuable lessons I learned was, 'get material where ever you can'. So I began skimming the personals in search of humor, and I did write some moderately amusing sketches as a result, but the side-effect of reading these, was that I began to think, " Hey, she sounds like my kind of girl" and I started answering these pleas for romance. I wrote what I considered to be amusing, engaging and offbeat responses to women. When I got no responses, I began to feel like I was taking the wrong approach, yet I didn't want to alter my strategy, since I felt it accurately reflected my personality ( or lack thereof). One of the caveats was that a photograph was to be enclosed. At the time I was hovering around one hundred and twenty five to one hundred and thirty pounds, and often looked like a cadaver in snapshots. Since I was a loner, there wasn't anybody that I felt I could ask to take pictures of me, who could do a decent job of it. This is before digital photography, so I'd set up my 35mm camera on a tripod and use the 30 second timer to go and get in the picture. The problem with this is, that until the film was developed, I had no clue as to how they looked. I'd go through rolls only to find them unfocused, under-exposed, un-centered or just plain scary looking.
I became a regular at the 90 minute photo booth near my apartment, in hopes of getting the shot that would win the heart of a beautiful girl. The results were the same. I then began putting in the caveat, " I can undersand if you don't want to meet me, but please return the photograph" at the end of each attemtp to meet Ms. Right. Still nothing. I finally began including self-addressed, stamped envelopes with my responses. of all the mail I sent out, I only got one back. The gal wrote that she was six feet one inch tall and didn't feel comfortable dating a guy shorter than herself, which I considered to be understandable. It was at that point that I began posting my own ads, hoping that the fish would come to me, rather than trolling empty waters. I specified that I wanted to date women who were slim, thin, slender, petite, and weighed less than I did. My friend Mark told me that I better be ready to be lonely a Longgggggg time. Boy, was he ever right! I got three responses, one had no picturei and was written in pigeon English, which made it sound like this gal was looking for a green card. The seond was from a woman who looked to be older than my mother and twice as large, and third was type-written and easy to read, but was from a guy in the Suffolk County Correctional Center. Three strikes and I was out. From time to time, in desperation I'll give these types of hook-up media a try and each time I have to ask myself, "Why do I put myself through this type of torture?"
For me, dating is like work, I put in my forty hours and the boss says, " You did a good job but I'm going to have to pay you next week, we're a little bit short..." At first you shrug it off, but when it happens time and again, you have to tell yourself," I cannot afford to keep this up!" I keep doing the legwork but not reaping any rewards. I met one girl who had to weight at least 180 pounds. I don't understand why people think the person they're meeting won't notice, it's like they're setting themselves up for rejection.
On the other hand, there's no formula for what a person will like and won't like. I was meeting a girl in a bar/grille on a Wednesday evening. It had snowed earlier in the week and the streets weren't bustling with activity. The place she suggested had a bar that ran against the south wall. The door was on the west side and there was a step up to the bar area and a sunken eating area to the north side. The bartender was chatting up a couple who were parked at the eastern corner. I sat close to the door, at the south west corner , so I'd be the first person she saw when she walked in. I was served a club soda in a goblet the size of a small goldfish bowl. A gal walked in and I stood to introduce myself, she stepped into the sunken eating area, which was dark and hard to see into. I sat back down. A short time later, she came out of the area and asked if I was Tony. When I affirmed that, the look of disappointment on her face was like a neon billboard.
" Why do I put myself through this?" I asked myself, sat down and bought her the obligatory drink. We chatted for a bout half an hour and then she told me she had to leave. I thanked her and then left myself wondering what the next step was.
Flash forward several years. I was watching the television program "CBS Sunday Morning" it's an hour and a half program about arts and entertainment, done in a style sort of like "Sixty Minutes" but a little more lighthearted. They ran a feature about the internet dating site E-Harmony, basically gawking over their success rate for matching people up and how many had gotten married and were living happily ever after. The ads on the tube all stated, " Join now and get your first connections for free. This led me to believe that it is no bargain as far as cost goes, so I never bothered to look deeper into it. After afew months of seeing their ads, I decided to see what it cost. I got on-line and read all the fine print and those long, tedious and confusing terms and saw no mention of fees, so I continued with the sign-up process. Next I was faced with filling out the personality profile. Four hundred and fifty questions of profiling. At the time the TV show, " Rock Star Supernova" was running so at nine o'clock I had to stop to watch the show, dashing back and forth to my computer during the commercials to answer another question or two. It was well past the eleven o'clock news, and into the Letterman show that I finally finished the questionaire portion. Next I had to wait while all the data was correlated and see what they had for me. I got a note stating, 'that even E-Harmony cannot find a suitable match for everyone'. At least they didn't charge me for that tidbit of self-confidence busting.
So here it is February 14th 2010, and I haven't any girlfriends or even any potential girlfriends in the wings. Thinking back to this weekend twenty three years ago, the girl I'd been seeing I was making extra efforts to insure that she'd keep seeing me. She had stopped being home when I called her, and didn't return my calls. I called her at work, where she couldn't dtich me.
" Are you avoiding me?"I asked.
" Oh no, it's nothing like that..." She let the sentence hang.
" Well this is the long weekend and Valentine's day, I'm off from work and I was wondering if we could do something?"
" You could give me a call..."
" That's what I'm doing. You haven't returned my calls for two weeks"
" Things have been kind of crazy, I'm just getting ready for when I go to England, call me at my other job"
" Okay, I'll call you Sunday night" Feeling a bit relieved, I convinced myself that I'd just let things get blown out of proportion in my head. I went out and picked up a heart-shaped box of chocolates, sexy lingerie, and a long stemmed rose. She worked nights at a Pizzaria and generally got off around eleven thirty p.m. I called at ten, only to have whoever answered the phone tell me that she took off early that evening. I packed all the stuff she'd left at my apartment, along wih the drying rose, box of chocolates and black lace teddy into a big box and on Tuesday I sent it UPS to her, with a note saying that if she didn't want to go out with me anymore, all she had to do was say so. I don't know why she had to let me think that things wer a lright, I'd think that she'd want to tell me just to get me off her case, but as I stated earlier, I have no clue how women think and I suppose I never will.
There are lots of Conspiracy Theorists who say that St. Valentines day isn't a real holiday and that it was invented by corporations, yet the legend of the holiday goes back long before Hallmark and Hershey's were big industries, so who's to say? I just hate the feeling like I'm not a part of it because I'm a solo act and don't have anyone to lavish my affections on. On the up side, think of the money I save not buying those heart-shaped boxes!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Supersonic
This title is vintage '90's Alternative, stolen from the often warring band, Oasis. The Gallagher brothers seemed to steal a page from the Davies brothers of Kinks fame, and on stage sometimes came to fisticuffs. Oasis has broken up several times, and in 2009 announced that they will never perform together again. It's a shame since they made music that has been compared to The Beatles. But that's not what my mind is on today..it's...
Football!
Today is February 7th, 2010 and marks the forty fourth playing of The Superbowl. This matchup between the AFC and NFC has gone through a lot of changes. I recall watching Superbowl 3 when Joe Namath and the New York Jets defeated the Baltimore Colts. It was played on a Sunday afternoon, just like any other football game...prior to Monday NightFootball, Thursday Night Football, Sunday Night Football and the playoffs when games are played on Saturday and Sunday. Of course this is all due to the imense popularity of football and it's television coverage. Halftime events used to be a bunch of marching bands and baton twirlers, allowing viewers to head to the bathroom and grab more snacks to engulf during the game. This has become impossible. I would become independently wealthy if I could invent an external bladder that can be worn on Game day. You see, now the commercial ads are almost more of an attraction than the game itself. At a cost of between two and three million dollars for a thirty second spot, advertisers want to get the most bang for their bucks. As many people will discuss the ads around the water cooler on Monday, as the plays that were run during this extended hour of competition. In the past I've seen some brilliant ads, but many were so entertaining, I had no recollection of what the product being hawked was, which kind of defeats it's own purpose. Not only that, but now halftime is a mini concert extravagnza, featuring name acts like The Rolling Stones, Tom Petty, Aerosmith and the biggest mystery of all, Michael Jackson have all appeared. Michael Jackson and football should never be mentioned in the same sentence, let alone performing in the same arena. It's like seeing Ku Klux Klansmen wearing "Have A Nice Day" buttons on Martin Luther King Day. They just don't mix!
I'm getting off track here, tonight's extravaganza will feature The Who, or the remannats of the legendary band performing at halftime, leaving me to ask the question, when do I get to run to the bathroom? I don't want to miss the game, nor do I want to miss the ads, and now I don't want to miss the halftime show! What's left???
Is there some sort of medical procedure that I can undergo, which will keep my bladder from filling up? Should I just abstain from liquid refreshments? Is it too late to install a television in the lavatory? How does the average American football fan deal with this dilemma? I am set to record the entire program just so I can review memorable ads in the event that I miss one. The things we have to do in this day and age in order to enjoy sports!
Football!
Today is February 7th, 2010 and marks the forty fourth playing of The Superbowl. This matchup between the AFC and NFC has gone through a lot of changes. I recall watching Superbowl 3 when Joe Namath and the New York Jets defeated the Baltimore Colts. It was played on a Sunday afternoon, just like any other football game...prior to Monday NightFootball, Thursday Night Football, Sunday Night Football and the playoffs when games are played on Saturday and Sunday. Of course this is all due to the imense popularity of football and it's television coverage. Halftime events used to be a bunch of marching bands and baton twirlers, allowing viewers to head to the bathroom and grab more snacks to engulf during the game. This has become impossible. I would become independently wealthy if I could invent an external bladder that can be worn on Game day. You see, now the commercial ads are almost more of an attraction than the game itself. At a cost of between two and three million dollars for a thirty second spot, advertisers want to get the most bang for their bucks. As many people will discuss the ads around the water cooler on Monday, as the plays that were run during this extended hour of competition. In the past I've seen some brilliant ads, but many were so entertaining, I had no recollection of what the product being hawked was, which kind of defeats it's own purpose. Not only that, but now halftime is a mini concert extravagnza, featuring name acts like The Rolling Stones, Tom Petty, Aerosmith and the biggest mystery of all, Michael Jackson have all appeared. Michael Jackson and football should never be mentioned in the same sentence, let alone performing in the same arena. It's like seeing Ku Klux Klansmen wearing "Have A Nice Day" buttons on Martin Luther King Day. They just don't mix!
I'm getting off track here, tonight's extravaganza will feature The Who, or the remannats of the legendary band performing at halftime, leaving me to ask the question, when do I get to run to the bathroom? I don't want to miss the game, nor do I want to miss the ads, and now I don't want to miss the halftime show! What's left???
Is there some sort of medical procedure that I can undergo, which will keep my bladder from filling up? Should I just abstain from liquid refreshments? Is it too late to install a television in the lavatory? How does the average American football fan deal with this dilemma? I am set to record the entire program just so I can review memorable ads in the event that I miss one. The things we have to do in this day and age in order to enjoy sports!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
A Day In The Life
I have to admit that I'm Not a Beatle-Freak. I always liked the band, but never went bugnuts over them. The anthemic song that John Lennon penned is the perfect tune to highlight what I'm bitching about today...
It's late January 2010 and the new season of the television show, "24" has begun. The first two seaons were riveting examples of high suspense drama. It has steadily gone downhill like a rockslide. Yet I contiunue to watch it. The show could be salvaged if by some fluke, Keifer Sutherland read my blog ( yeah right!) and followed my lead. The first preposerous notion is that these crises all span exactly twenty four hours. It would be much more believeable if the show was called "Real Time" that way they could avert the disaster in sixteen hours or thirty two hours if the need arose. But the shows have gotten overstuffed with meaningless fluff, simply to stretch it out to the given twenty four episodes. Drivel! Alot of these sidebars are red herrings to divert the viewers from out-thinkiong the hero Jack Bauer, who like our former President George W. Bush, also pronounces "nuclear" as "Nuke-You-Lar", which proves he isn't THAT smart. The show has gotten tedious and I find myself getting impatient waiting for the real grit and trying to ignore all the unnecessary chattle that's being crammed in like a giant trash compactor. I'm starting to believe that anything that's successful will be ruined by over-exposure and "24" is a prime example!
It's late January 2010 and the new season of the television show, "24" has begun. The first two seaons were riveting examples of high suspense drama. It has steadily gone downhill like a rockslide. Yet I contiunue to watch it. The show could be salvaged if by some fluke, Keifer Sutherland read my blog ( yeah right!) and followed my lead. The first preposerous notion is that these crises all span exactly twenty four hours. It would be much more believeable if the show was called "Real Time" that way they could avert the disaster in sixteen hours or thirty two hours if the need arose. But the shows have gotten overstuffed with meaningless fluff, simply to stretch it out to the given twenty four episodes. Drivel! Alot of these sidebars are red herrings to divert the viewers from out-thinkiong the hero Jack Bauer, who like our former President George W. Bush, also pronounces "nuclear" as "Nuke-You-Lar", which proves he isn't THAT smart. The show has gotten tedious and I find myself getting impatient waiting for the real grit and trying to ignore all the unnecessary chattle that's being crammed in like a giant trash compactor. I'm starting to believe that anything that's successful will be ruined by over-exposure and "24" is a prime example!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Moving Pictures
Old Age sucks! I'm not positive if this title is an actual song name, or the heading of an album by Rush. I know there's a Kinks song by that title, but I cannot recall how it goes. Either way, I'm using it for the song title this piece is about...
I've mentioned many times that I'm a car freak. My love of working on cars and modifying them so they're different from what rolled off the factory floor is a passion that I don't get to realize on a daily basis. WhenI was young, my parents viewed cars as a way to get from Point A to Point B, and my mother was constantly warning me to stop spending money on my Van, Car, etc. Also, we were not fortunate enough to have a garage where I could comfortably work on my vehicles. My mom has long since passed away and in the economic crunch of being unable to land a job modifying cars for a living, I've been forced to take on a "regular job". ( God forbid!). I had to move out of my apartment and into the home my Dad now inhabits. On the plus side, he doesn't charge me rent. On the negative side, he's let the place go to hell. His way of dealing with problems is by ignoring them. The portion I live in has no heat. He's also become obsessive/compulsive about saving things...EVERYTHING! If a branch falls in the yard, he'll cut it up and put it into paper bags that he gets from the store, tapes them up and saves them to burn in the fireplace. The only problem is: me never makes fires. He does the same with sawdust, pine needles and just about anything else that's combustible. This takes up quite a bit of space. Every sliver of wood has also been set aside. He saves cardboard boxes, old pens, nails, screws, wire, and any other piece of random hardware. This takes up considerable space. I could understand it if he was a mad scientist, Mr. Fixit or amateur inventor and created stuff out of all his hoardings, but all he does is save them, and that's it! Space is at a premium in this abode and I have little of it to claim for my projects, which compounds the problem. So I dream about the day when I can move into a space of my own where garbage is disposed of instead of stashed away, and I can work on my truck.
I spend the bulk of my time planning what I'd do if I was indeed able to do this, but as times goes by, it's become an unrealistic fantasy. I spend more time watching car shows on Speed TV. On a recent volume of Hot Rod TV, they were highlighting cars from movies. The ones they gave the most lip-service to were, The '77 Pontiac Trans Am from " Smokey and the Bandit", the '57 Chevy from "Hollywood Knights", and the Mustangs from "Bullit" and "Gone In Sixty Seconds".
With the exception of "Bullit", I've seen all of these films in the theater. My mother, who was a prudish type, would read movie reviews in "Good House Keeping" magazine or some similar publication. If they didn't approve it for children, that was it, I was not allowed to view these flicks! I had to wait until "Bullit" appeared on network TV. Of the listed films, this was the least preposterous. Naturally the car chase was the highlight and that was the one where more than one car was needed to complete the filming because one car wouldn't stand up to that type of abuse unscathed. "Smokey And The Bandit" was NOT a good movie, despite its' popularity. "Hollywood Knights" was totally forgetable, and a lame imitation of "American Grafiti", the truest car film ever. " Gone in Sixty Seconds" was a total bag of shit, with very little redeeming quality to it, despite a good cast. It was a car chase with a plot loosely wrapped around it, and not a very good one at that. They did not mention the ultimate Mopar lovers' film, "Vanishing Point", but did mention the crappy TV show, " The Dukes Of Hazard". Why is it that motorheads can read and write tech articles for popular car magazines, but their taste in automotive movies is somewhere that gets wiped with toilet paper?
I was reading an article in one of the many car mags I get, and it mentioned the anniversary of "Project X" a yellow '57 Chevy that was featured in "The Hollywood Knights". I had forgotten about that movie, and I'm still scratching my head trying to recall this vehicle. Most notably, it was yellow! Hardly a manly color, but it would at least make it stick out. Yet I have zero recollection of it. Apparently the big scene was when it raced a Cobra, yet I haven't the foggiest idea of what happened. I DO remember Robert Wuhl singing " Volare" and the fake sounds of farting when he put the microphone up to his ass, that accompied it, and that's about all.
There was a sequel to "American Grafiti" that was surprisingly good, yet that seems to have dropped into the void of automotive movies. Try locating "More American Grafiti" on DVD, and see how much that's going to set you back! Car themed films are like the vehicles themselves, they're all a matter of taste...and mine is in a distinct minority!
I've mentioned many times that I'm a car freak. My love of working on cars and modifying them so they're different from what rolled off the factory floor is a passion that I don't get to realize on a daily basis. WhenI was young, my parents viewed cars as a way to get from Point A to Point B, and my mother was constantly warning me to stop spending money on my Van, Car, etc. Also, we were not fortunate enough to have a garage where I could comfortably work on my vehicles. My mom has long since passed away and in the economic crunch of being unable to land a job modifying cars for a living, I've been forced to take on a "regular job". ( God forbid!). I had to move out of my apartment and into the home my Dad now inhabits. On the plus side, he doesn't charge me rent. On the negative side, he's let the place go to hell. His way of dealing with problems is by ignoring them. The portion I live in has no heat. He's also become obsessive/compulsive about saving things...EVERYTHING! If a branch falls in the yard, he'll cut it up and put it into paper bags that he gets from the store, tapes them up and saves them to burn in the fireplace. The only problem is: me never makes fires. He does the same with sawdust, pine needles and just about anything else that's combustible. This takes up quite a bit of space. Every sliver of wood has also been set aside. He saves cardboard boxes, old pens, nails, screws, wire, and any other piece of random hardware. This takes up considerable space. I could understand it if he was a mad scientist, Mr. Fixit or amateur inventor and created stuff out of all his hoardings, but all he does is save them, and that's it! Space is at a premium in this abode and I have little of it to claim for my projects, which compounds the problem. So I dream about the day when I can move into a space of my own where garbage is disposed of instead of stashed away, and I can work on my truck.
I spend the bulk of my time planning what I'd do if I was indeed able to do this, but as times goes by, it's become an unrealistic fantasy. I spend more time watching car shows on Speed TV. On a recent volume of Hot Rod TV, they were highlighting cars from movies. The ones they gave the most lip-service to were, The '77 Pontiac Trans Am from " Smokey and the Bandit", the '57 Chevy from "Hollywood Knights", and the Mustangs from "Bullit" and "Gone In Sixty Seconds".
With the exception of "Bullit", I've seen all of these films in the theater. My mother, who was a prudish type, would read movie reviews in "Good House Keeping" magazine or some similar publication. If they didn't approve it for children, that was it, I was not allowed to view these flicks! I had to wait until "Bullit" appeared on network TV. Of the listed films, this was the least preposterous. Naturally the car chase was the highlight and that was the one where more than one car was needed to complete the filming because one car wouldn't stand up to that type of abuse unscathed. "Smokey And The Bandit" was NOT a good movie, despite its' popularity. "Hollywood Knights" was totally forgetable, and a lame imitation of "American Grafiti", the truest car film ever. " Gone in Sixty Seconds" was a total bag of shit, with very little redeeming quality to it, despite a good cast. It was a car chase with a plot loosely wrapped around it, and not a very good one at that. They did not mention the ultimate Mopar lovers' film, "Vanishing Point", but did mention the crappy TV show, " The Dukes Of Hazard". Why is it that motorheads can read and write tech articles for popular car magazines, but their taste in automotive movies is somewhere that gets wiped with toilet paper?
I was reading an article in one of the many car mags I get, and it mentioned the anniversary of "Project X" a yellow '57 Chevy that was featured in "The Hollywood Knights". I had forgotten about that movie, and I'm still scratching my head trying to recall this vehicle. Most notably, it was yellow! Hardly a manly color, but it would at least make it stick out. Yet I have zero recollection of it. Apparently the big scene was when it raced a Cobra, yet I haven't the foggiest idea of what happened. I DO remember Robert Wuhl singing " Volare" and the fake sounds of farting when he put the microphone up to his ass, that accompied it, and that's about all.
There was a sequel to "American Grafiti" that was surprisingly good, yet that seems to have dropped into the void of automotive movies. Try locating "More American Grafiti" on DVD, and see how much that's going to set you back! Car themed films are like the vehicles themselves, they're all a matter of taste...and mine is in a distinct minority!
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