It's The End Of The World As We Know It

I pickpocketed this title from Athens Geogria's own R.E.M. I'm writing this on December 30th 2010. For the past few weeks I've been seeing and hearing lists of peoples choices for best movies, books, songs etc of the year. I haven't seen any releases in the theaters, only read a couple of books and am getting further and further out of touch with pop music and the people who make it. For many years I listened to The Howard Stern show on the radio, but due to federal regulation and him being fined so often for content, he took a deal on satelite radio and I stopped hearing his show. I began listening to an upstart radio station whose call letters are WRXP . At first I liked them but soon grew weary of the typical commerical radio blight. Overplaying the same songs, lack of variety and idiot disc jockeys. This is all a part of a large phenomena I call, "The Blanding Of America". An effort to be so politically correct that everything morphs into a lump of boring white bread. I cannot see why people get excited over bands like Phoenix, Cold Play and The Black Keys. The songs I hear on the radio are so dull and unmoving that I feel like saying, "Wake me when it's over" everytime one comes on the air, which is too often for my tastes. I began listening to the classic rock station which is equally disappointing. In the afternoon the D.J. plays a feature called "The Three At Three". He plays three songs with a theme and the listeners have to guess what the common bond is. I like the feature but the D.J. is annoying. He's a sports twerp, and spouts off too often his feelings about stuff that is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I am reasonably certain that none of this will change in 2011, so I am going to print my list of rock songs I would be happy to NEVER hear again for the rest of my life.

10) Paradise By The Dashboard Light-I was in college when " Bat Out Of Hell" came out and I liked Meatloaf when I first heard this record. It became a huge hit and was played to death. Now I cringe everytime I hear anything by Mr. Lee and immediately switch stations. I am truly appreciative that I didn't spend my hard earned cash on any Meatloaf discs.

9)Rosalita by Spruce Stringbean. I was also in college when the Boss hit the scene. At first I was indifferent to his music. All the D.J.s were ranting and raving about him, yet I failed to see what was so innovative about him or his tunes. The guys in the room next door in my dorm would put on Rosalita, and yell, scream or shout along with it. Once the song ended, they'd replace the needle and do it all over again. At first I found this amusing, but that quickly wore off. Born To Run was released that year and the radio stations pounded it into the dirt. My disinterest in Asbury Park's homeboy grew into dislike and I soon detested every song he sang. ( I do like Greg Kihns' cover of "Rendezvous") I hope not to ever hear any Bruce music for the rest of my life.

8) Blinded By The Light by Manfred Manns Earth Band. As much as I despise Springsteens' music, This cover version is hundreds of times worse. It is long, boring, and irritiating. Manfred Mann had big hits in the past, "Doo Wah Diddy" the most notable and I like it. I also like their cover of Bob Dylans' " The Mighty Quinn" but when I hear the long intro to Blinded, I have to press the button.

7) Live And Let Die-After the Beatles broke up, Paul McCartney formed a band called, "Wings". They had numerous hits, as one would expect. Most of them did not make me want to own a Wings album. When Paul was tapped to write a theme song for a James Bond movie, that was BIG music news. Live And Let Die was a crappy Bond movie, the resulting song was a lemon to my ears.

6) Aja-Steely Dan was another one of those bands that I was indifferent to. I didn't mind Aja when it came out, but again it was overplayed and I got sick of hearing peoople refer to them, as "musical geniuses". If they're geniuses, why are their songs so blah?

5) Lady. This bag of excrement should bannish the band Styx from the radio for eternity. I actually used to like some of their early stuff, and the Paradise Theater album isn't completely unlistenable, but they have a ton of crappy songs to go along with the few I like. They were up at the radio station where I worked and were pushing one of their tours. They said their show would make "The Wall" look like a childs' game. Like a fool, I spent my heard earned money on tickets. Pink Floydd has nothing to worry about. Styx should add an N to their name, Stynx is more appropriate.

4) Now I add a clause to my choice. In the late sixities there was a band called, "The Move". They had some cool songs and soon evolved into The Electric Light Orchestra. When I was in high school they released a kick-ass version of Chuck Berry's "Roll Over Beethoven". It got played, replayed and overplayed. It was at the point where you'd hear it on one station, switch to a different spot on the radio dial and it would be playing there too. Another press of the button and, BINGO there it would be. There's no need to hear it three and four times an hour but the song was inescapable. I soon revolted and refused to spend money on anything that ELO put out. I like their version of the song, but I heard it enough to last a lifetime.

3) We Are The Champions/We Will Rock You. I like Queens' early works. They fell into the category known at the time as "Glitter Rock". "Leave Yourself Alive" was the first song by them I ever heard and I like it, they have some serious rockers, but their biggest hits are the wimpy ones. From a musical point of view, this is a bag of shit. The starting point for other turkeys like "Bohemian Rhapsody", "Bicycle Race" and " Fat Bottom Girls".

2) As I sit here typing this, my mind is racing to come up with all the songs that have me pressing the radio buttons and I have to think back to the 1980s when there was a ton of disposable music out there. Sure "Kharma Cameleon"is a stinkbomb, but it's so forgetable that it no longer bothers me as much as it did back then, I feel that way about most of the stuff that made me cringe at the time. There was a band called EBN OZN, who put out a serious piece of drech called "A,E,I,O,U and sometimes Y". This was absolutely dreadful! But nobody plays it anymore, so it is forgotten, along with a host of other musical dung heaps. So they don't count. This crapola I do hear and wish I didn't. Jesus I Just Alright-By The Doobie Brothers. I never liked the Doobs and this is the worst of their compositions. I even hate the name, Doobie Brothers, it sounds like something you step in. "Hey man, take off your shoes, you're tracking some kind of gunk all over the clean carpet, what is that?"
" Oh no, I stepped in doobie!"

1) American Pie-This song SUCKS! I Never want to hear it again! Period!!!

Okay so there's one of my lists. I have to add a few "honorable mentions" or maybe "Dishonorable mentions" since they are also songs I despise. " The Sultans Of Swing" by Dire Straits is another mid 70's tune that I had no feelings about at first, but was also pounded into the soil by the local radio stations. I keep hearing about what an impressive guitarist Mark Knofler is, but that means zero if you hate the songs he plays...right? Another briar under the saddle is by a band that I like and has some kick-ass tunes but their most famous one bites the bag. I'm talking about Bachman Turner Overdrive's "Takin' Care Of Business". Garbage! Early in my music listening stages, I took a liking to The Steve Miller Band. I'll never know why. His music is appealing to someboy who is perpetually a fifteen year old girl. Real bubble-gum tripe. I'm still at odds as to which is the most repulsive. "Living In The U.S.A" is the one that's not completely nauseating, the rest can take their place in the dung heap of music that's overplayed and not deserving of that honor.
Having taken my own stab as musicianship, I am really moved by the bass guitar. I was trying to think of the ten best bass songs, but there are too many where the bass is so overpowered by the rest of the music. Any song by Cream, Led Zeppelin, and The Who all have wicked bass, but the rest of the song is generally so well composed that the individual instruments are overlooked. The Doors have really great bass lines but they don't have a bass player. Ray Manzarek did all the bass with the foot pedals of his keyboards, so can I count them? Being an over-opinionated doofus, I'll give it a try anyway.

10) Come Together-I am NOT a Beatle freak, I always liked the Fab Four but I was never avid about my admiration. It wasn't until after I got out of college and I started playing bass that I actually noticed how complex Mr. McCartney's bass lines were. This one truly sticks out in my mind.
9) Money-Pink Floydds' music marvel, Dark Side Of The Moon is the epitomy of space rock. Yet this pop tune has a bass line that automatically sticks out in my mind. Kudos Roger Waters!

8) Time Of The Season-It doesn't have to be complex to be catchy. I can't even recall the bass players name from The Zombies. This one is etched in my head.

7) Birthday-The Beatles. Again hats off to Paul!

6) Twilight Zone-Golden Earring. Another example of how a basic riff can stand out and make a song.

5) The Real Me-The Who. I know I said that the bass is often overlooked, but this one is just too extreme to omit. I miss John Entwhistles' influence.

4) What Is And What Should Never Be-Led Zeppelin. John Paul Jones's work just can't be ignored, it's too good. All of their songs have serious bass lines, but this is one of my faves.

3) I Want You, She's So Heavy-The Beatles. A hat-trick for Sir Paul McCartney.

2) Mystery Achievement-The Pretenders. The late Pete Farndon has a real classic here!

1) Blood And Roses-The Smithereens. Yes I chose a band from New Jersey with their riff as the best bass line in rock and roll. I asked friends what their choices were, and I got responses like " Under Peressure" which is memorable, although it is a song I really dislike. Blood and Roses is simple yet catchy, and the song is intense enough to make it a stand out in rock history!

Honorable mention: I know this one will cause some snickers, some outrage and some agreement, but the immortal, " Inna Gadda Da Vida" has a bass hook that's unforgetable and easily recognizable.

Okay this is a category that I made up simply to get plugs in for songs I have a hard time categorizing. I call them "Crescendo songs". They start out kind of slow and ballady, and then go into instrumental jams that get progressively more intense, like a freight train rolling down a thirty seven degree incline, picking up speed as they thunder down the track, and seem to be heading towards a fatal collision.
10) Highway Song-Blackfoot. Yes this was a song that got a bit of radio play during the height of the Southern Rock daze of the mid to late seventies.
9) Standing At The Station-Ten Years After. My all time favorite rock and roll band, and most rock neophytes know them only for two songs, "I'm going home" and "I'd love to change the world". Two good tunes, but there's so much more to this band than the Classic Rock pair that get any radio play. If you've got Pandora, it's worth a listen.
8) Crazy On You-Heart. I know it seems like all of these songs came from the same era of music, but it was a trend that didn't survive, what can I say?7) In Memory Of Elizabeth Reed-The Allman Brothers. Back when both of the Allmans were alive their stuff was tuff to beat. The "Brothers and Sisters" album was the point where they jumped the shark. The only reason this one landed so high on the list is that it doesn't get hairy at the end. It's more like a disconnected caboose rolling into the station rather than barrellling down a twisty mountain track at breakneck speed.
6) Stairway To Heaven-Led Zeppelin. Yeah I hate to add this to the mix, but after starting this thread, my mind went blank and I can't think of some of the better examples. You can be thankful I didn't place it at number one.
5) Slow Ride-Foghat. This is a band that the critics love to hate, but in my opinion, they're one of the best Boogie Bands that ever played. I'm not sure if it's a compliment or a face slap that this song appeared on an episode of Seinfeld.
4) Nantucket Sleighride-Mountain. One of the most overlooked guitar virtuosos of the sixties and seventies, is Leslie West. Anoter band that has tons of terrific songs but only a few get any radio play. That's one of the reasons I dislike commercial radio so much.
3) Green Grass And High Tide-The Outlaws. Yep, another Southern Rock Band makes the list, they practically invented the style and certainly excelled at it.
2) Don't Run Me Down-Foghat. I never heard this tune on the radio, and I cannot understand why. It cooks! When Lonesome Dave Peverett played slide guitar, I can't imagine anyone not tapping their foot along with it.
1) Free Bird-Lynrd Skynrd. It's almost a cliche, but they set the standard with this song.

There is another category that I consider to be one of the most importatn in rock assessment, and that is best musical jams. This is still up in the air for me. It was a rebellious thing back in the psychedellic era, to go against the norm and come out wiht songs that had long musical interludes ( not to be confused with quaaludes). The typical radio hit was two minutes forty three seconds long, and that's what I used to hear on the am radio in our car. It was Labor Day weekend of 1967 when we were driving home from Cape Cod and got stuck in a huge traffic jam due to a backup at the Throggs Neck Bridge. The station was drifting in and out, ( we had analog radios in those days) so my mother switched to a Connecticutt station, at least that's what I think it was. The Doors had a hit at the time called "Light My Fire". That song came on the station she had just switched to but it wasn't the two and a half minute radio edit, it was the album version. That lasts about seven minutes, to this day, I'm convinced it is one of the best rock and roll musical jams of all times. Depending on your musical influences, there are any number of candidates. The Grateful Dead built a steady following on their jamming talents, The Allman Brothers, Jefferson Airplane, Santana, Jimi Hendrix, any of those sixites bands can be named, it doesn't much matter which. In current times, the only semi-new band that comes to mind is Phish, and even they have slipped into relative obscurity. I know I'm going to ruffle some feathers with the choices I've made but here goes,
10) Keep On Chooglin'-Creedence Clearwater Revival. The live version is like somebody pulled the cork out of the bottle and the musical genii got loose.
9) Soul Sacrifice-Santana. Live versions are the bulk of my choices, because the bands just went off on a tangent and some engineer caught it on tape, yeah, some are edited, just about all of the recordings that appeared on the original Woodstock album have been shortened, but they're still incredible.
8) Stormy Monday-Mountain. The version that appears on the Atlanta Pop Festival/ Isle Of Wight album is killer!
7) Whippin' Post-The Allman Brothers Live at the Filmore.
6) Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad-Derek And The Dominoes Live.
5) You and I-Yes a much overlooked band as far as trendsetting music goes. I forget the name of their live album.
4) Stone Cold Fever-Humble Pie. When Peter Frampton and Steve Mariott were still the front men the Rockin' The Filmore album had a ton of good tunes.
3) Voodo Chile A Slight Return-Jimi Hendrix. Any version of this is too good to ignore.
2) I Can't Keep From Crying Sometimes-Ten Years After. Another from the Atlanta Pop Festival/Isle Of Wight LP. and of course I already mentioned my number one pick for the best musical jam. Hats off to the recently reprieved Jim Morrison, Ray Manzarek, John Densmore, and Robbie Krieger.

And so I say goodbye to the year 2010 with my typically snarky attitude about music. I welcome other opinons to see what I may have left out, or to hear what those opposed think. In 2011 you can make your own fucking list and put me in my place, if you think you can! Ta ta!