Backfield In Motion

This one goes back to 1966, a soul song by Mel & Tim is the only football tune I know, and it isn't even a football tune. It uses some clever double entendre about a cheatin' lover to get the point across. Nope, this rant isn't about cheatin' lovers, because that is something that I lack. I'm barking about the performance by a true rock hero, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. He sang the Star Spangled Banner at the opening of the AFC conference title game on Sunday, January 22nd, 2012. It was awful. he sounded like a wounded animal, baying for a mate to come help get his leg out of a steel trap. Aerosmith is a band that I like, they've been undergoing some problems with personnel in-fighting, which is bound to happen to any group that's been together as long as they have. After several well publicized stints in various rehabs, Steven seemed to irritate the members more by taking on the role of a Judge on the hit television show, American Idol. This is a show that I tried watching in it's early stages and found deplorable, so I haven't seen his on-screen personna, but if he is going to belt out sour notes like he did this past Sunday, I think he'd better expect a shitstorm of negative criticism coming his way.
Let's face it, our National Anthem is not a particularly good song. It is based on the tune to an old British drinking song, who we fought a battle to be free from, forming a new nation that has evolved into one of the greatest in the world. Yet there are probably a bunch of drunken blokes laughing it up and throwing darts at a pub wall in the same tune as our representative anthem, that to me seems like we started out on the wrong foot. It has verses that span a range that a trained opera singer cannot comfortably vocalize, so we expect a bunch of dipshit celebrities to do so? We're in for a long string of disappointments.
I've seen and heard all sorts of versions of this musical disater being performed, and most of the singers don't seem to understand that this is a formality that should be gotten through as quickly as possible, yet many try to jazz it up by adding all sorts of wavers and warbles to their renditions, making it even more painful to listen to. I'll agree that it's too late to change our anthem, there are many veterans who know nothing about music who insist that this a good composition, and I repsec thwat they did to feel this way, but hey, grow some ears and USE them! Our national anthem is a punchline to a bad joke and due to tradition, we're stuck with it.

I Know, But I Don't Know

I took a step back through the age sto use this title from a not-so-well-known Blondie tune, for this particular tirade. Back in the mid 2000s, I think it was, there was a writers strike in Hollywood, and many television shows were put on hiatus due to this, simply because there was nobody to write the scripts for the shows scheduled to premiere in the fall. It was then that the Reality Shows became the saving grace of the networks. The talent, if you can call them that, was cheaper than hiring known actors, and the scripts were non-existent. Well these programs took off like the proverbial bat-out-of-hell, and the execs never looked back. Now all the channels are flooded with all sorts of contests and how-tos for every taste and habit known to humans. Some I watch and actually enjoy. But then there are some that make me wonder,
" Why do people care?".
I have no clue who the hell Kim and Courtney Kardashian are...yeah yeah, they're some sort of large busted fashion twits, who make the news all the time, but why is a mystery to me. Well one of these ninnies got married to a basketball player and the nuptials ended after seventy two days. Fine, who gives a shit?? Apparently a lot of people, because it made the news and stayed in the headlines for a whole lot longer than I considered interesting. Obviously I'm out of step with the rest of society, because months later, it still inspires reaction. there was an NBA strike and it looked as if there would be no 2011/20012 season, but at the last moment a deal was struck and the players went back to the courts on Christmas. When the guy who maried miss Who-Cares took to the court, he was booed by the hometeam fans. Hey, if he scores points and keeps the opposition from doing the same, that's all I consider pertinent. He's doing what he's paid to do. Why does anyone care about his love life? Especially in the sporting arena?
As I mentioned earlier, there are shows about just about anything and everything imaginable.Ordinary people trying to become chef, fashion models, beauticians, butchers, bakers, candlestick makers and partridges in pear trees. And for every bizarre occupation, there is an avid audience who cannot bear to miss single epsiode of this drivel.
One such program, one I've never seen and have no interest in viewing is a cooking show. The hostess is a southern belle who touts the use of large quantities of heart-attack inducing ingredients. It was revealed this week that she was diagnosed as a Type 2 diabetic several years ago, yet she never mentioned that, and never changed the recipes she broadcasted for her potentially obese viewers, to more heart healthy formulae. I hope she gets arteries so brittle that they crack like egg shells. Many years ago, I attended a Diabetes Education symposium. I was the only type 1 diabetic in attendance. Type 2 diabetes is a more stealthy disease, many people can have it for years and not know it. If they ate a healthy diet and did moderate exercise, the symptoms often go awaya nd they can live a life less restrictive than what I have to endure. After the educator gave a list of ways to help reverse the symptoms, almost every person in attendance said, " I can't do that" or " I won't do that". So instead they're willing to risk all sorts of pain-in-the-ass procedures because they won't walk up stqairs instead of takign an elevator or cannot force themselves to skip the cake when they go to a wedding. I hav eno sympathy for anyone that hard headed. They all wanted their doctors to prescribe them a magic pill to cure their woes, but couldn't take it upon themselves to live ahealthier lifestyle. They deserve to die a slow, horrible death. The fat-ass blob who hosts that cooking show, I think her name is Paula Dean, should be stoned to death for promoting her artery clogging meals to idiots like the ones I sat next to at that seminar. I am hardly an example of prime motivation, but I have made it my mission to live long enough to see a cure for diabetes become a reality, and I am not inclined to invite those other slobs to join me. Call me snobby, but If a person cannot make a small sacrifice to make their life richer and more rewarding, I think that there are too many others who can and do, that deserve to fill those spots on this planet.

It's Only Rock And Roll

I went for the obvious as opposed to the obscure for this title tune. The rumors are flying that the Stones are getting together to cut a new album, and a tour will undoubtedly follow, if that's the case. So it isn't stretching things too much to use a Rolling Stones title for this complaint. If the Stones do indeed put out a new compilation, where will I be able to hear it? Nowadays, the artists' web site is the most likely place. In New York there is no more rock and roll radio that's going to go out on a limb and play anything that isn't already proven to be a hit. If you doubt what I'm saying, just try and name three tunes off the "Bridges To Babylon" disc. See my point? Even the group labeled, " The World's Greatest Rock And Roll Band" isn't a shoe-in for automatic radio play. On the other hand, Spruce Stringbean and the Pee Street Band are also coming out with a new album and I'm sure that my ears will be assaulted with that drech non-stop. I have to ask, who decides what music gets played on the radio? Yeah...I know, The Music Director. The stooge at some mass market conglomerate, who's given the power of his/her superiors and a laundry list of advertisers that're paying their salary dictate the choices of what I get to hear.
I've mentioned before that I used to be employed at a radio station and I don't think I'm bragging, by stating that I considered myself to be reasonably competent at what I did. Yet I was kicked to the curb for something not related to any on-air activity and I've been a nomad ever since. I listen to a great deal of disc jockeys, most of whom are not conversant in proper English, which I believe should be mandatory in a country where English is the national language. That aside, I'm REALLY pissed that the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame nominees have been selected and Joan Jett was passed aside, but The Beastie Boys are being inducted. I was working at the one radio station I had any experience at, when the "License To Ill" album came out. My station was playing the song " Fight For The Right To Party". It was brash and abrasive and I thought that was something I'd get some mileage out of, so I invessted my hard earned cash on the LP. When I took it home and put it on my turntable, I was mortified that I'd wasted good money on that horrible piece of shit. There wasn't one good tune on it. I now even hate the song that inspired me to buy that piece of crapola. I cringe when I hear the name of the band, let alone any of their godawful songs. I've despised everything to date that I've heard by them and yet this lame-ass White-Boy Rap takes precedent over a real rocker, Joan ( Jett) Larkin? Who makes these decisions? I'm not a regular reader of Rolling Stone, and I think that Jan Wenner is one of the major dipshits who calls the shots, and this is a fine example of why I'm reluctant to put any faith in what's written in that rag. I have to wonder what defines Rock And Roll, and what separates it from other Popular Music? Hell, they mights as well start nominating every schmoe who had a top ten hit to the institution, they don't seem to be too discriminatory about who gets in and who doesn't, so don't be surprised if Weird Al Yankovic, Barry Manilow, and Slim Whitman also get their names on the roster. Nobody makes a stink over the selections, so who am I to make those decisions? I seem to be wrong about everything else on this planet of our.

Talk Talk

I chose this title from the fathers of Garage Rock, "The Music Machine". They were a 1960's California band that came to presence in the psychedellic era. Producer, Mike Chapman was a member, but it was their leader, Sean Bonniwell who recently died, that made me choose this song s a title for this rant.
I work with a guy who's a good hearted individual, but he spends the bulk of the day yakking, blabbing, running off at the mouth, flapping his gums, pissing in people's ears...whatever you want to call it. He's got something to say about everything, regardless of whether or not he knows what he's talking about. The fact that he makes so many blind statements, people don't take him seriously. He's considered a gasbag, full of hot air. At first I found it fairly normal, because all people tend to exaggerate at one time or another, but he does it all the time. He's not particularly articulate and apparently not well educated ( he wouldn't be working where I work if he was). I consider him to be a pseudo-intellectual. He'll run off statements and I think that he honestly believes the bulk of what he says, because he gains nothing by lying, but most of what he says is crap! His falsisms are the topic of discussion when he's not around and he's got some doozies! I'm a huge fan of the Discovery Channel show, "Mythbusters" and much of what he's said has been proven to be erroneous on that show. Simple logic disproves the rest of his statements ninety percent of the time. He is a big speaker, but a little listener. If he learned to moderate his talk, he'd see that people don't take him seriously. Working with him alot, I've held my tongue too many times, now I'm at the point where I feel like telling him to shut up. But I don't want to hurt his feelings, I still have to work with the guy. He's served his country in Viet Nam, and one day made the statement, that the M16 assault rifle introduced over there, weighed eight ounces. I rolled my eyes and told him that's less than one pound. He stuck to his guns ( pun intended) and said, " I ran through the jungles of Viet Nam with one, don't tell me!" I'm a big watcher of the History Channel, Discovery Channel and Military Channel. All of which have run specials about firearms, a subject I know virtually nothing about first hand. None has made mention that the M16 weighed less than one pound. In fact,they weight about eight pounds. When another veteran pointed that out, he got very defensive and fumphered about mispeaking. He tries to sound authoritative about everything he speaks of, and it is clear to anyone with an iota of knowledge, that he's wrong more than he's right. How do I gingerly go about telling him that he's digging himself into a hole the size of the Grand Canyon with his big talk? I consider myself to be reasonably intelligent, I know a little about a lot of things, but not alot about any one thing, so I'm no expert. When my other co-workers ask how I manage to work with him, I simply tell them, " I'm a true believer in the MP3 player. If you can't tune him out, put up the music VERY loud!