Let's Shake

As I typically do, I'm zapping back to the '80s for this title. It's from a band called, "Teenage Head" I liked the album that it came off of, but like many of my musical choices, I seem to be alone in that sentiment. The average person undoubtedly never heard of Teenage Head, let alone knows any of their tunes. Why can't any decent radio stations hire me to turn the world on to these lost gems, eh? I would think that there'd be an opportunity on Satellite Radio, but I've heard that they aren't doing so well in these tough economic times, so I'm not holding my breath. Besides, I didn't start this stem to write about Teenage Head, I'm bitching about a different trend...hand shaking.

I was told as a youngster, that you can judge a man by his handshake. Nowadays, handshakes can consist of tapping a clenched fist against another, grabbing the greeters' arm and pulling it into a shoulder butt, or just a plain old open handed slap. I think the shoulder bump is rather gay, so if I'm ever caught doing that, I grant you permission to shoot me on sight. There is a guy at work, who makes the rounds each morning and shakes everyone's hand. I have no idea why he's compelled to do this. I would think he'd be more afraid of getting swine flu by utilizing this tactic, but then again what do I know? In any case, I don't dislike the guy, he's okay by me, but I have no interest in shaking hands with him every time I see him. It's a worthless, pointless gesture. This seems to be a current trend amongst a certain ethnic crowd, typically younger members. Why, is what's puzzling me.

As I already said, I don't object to shaking hands, I'll do it when I meet somebody for the first time, if I'm saying goodbye to someone, wishing them good luck before a potentially dangerous endeavor, or if I'm congratulating them for an achievement, first child, winning an award or contest. As a greeting, I'm more inclined to simply say, " Hey, how's it going?" It's easier, there's less potential for spreading of disease and it takes less time. Time is something that man still hasn't gotten a hand on harnessing, so as I get older, I'm less interested in wasting it, especially with useless gestures.
I know girls who go around kissing everyone, 'Hello'. I like kissing girls, but only for its' erotic value, not as a way to say, " Hey, how's it going?". This also is another waste of time, motion and effort.
Could these feelings be part of the reason I'm alone so much of the time? Naturally, I don't think so, but I'm not right about anything, and mystified by everthing, so it all boils down to,
" What Do I Know?". I certainly don't know why people are such obtuse beings and hard to figure out. I'll shake your hand on that!