Middle Of The Road

Yep, I'm going back to the '80's once again. This title I swiped from The Pretenders. Since music was once a critical part of my lifestyle, I always try to use a song title for my posts. This in itself isn't always easy. The first song that popped into my mind was, "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Stealer's Wheel. That was a '70's band that featured Jerry Rafferty as their lead man. He had a big hit with a song that I despise, "Baker Street". That's getting off on a tangent that's not at all applicable to what I'm moaning about.
I guess I was in college when some scholar came out with an analysis of "Personality Types". As far as I can recall, this genius declared that the world is divided into two personality types, Type A, and Type B. I could be mistaken, but I actually did a bit of checking before writing this, and I was unable to find any references to Type C personalities, so I think I'm safe. The Type A personality is Outgoing, Aggressive, Assertive, Dominant, Gregarious, Bold, Brash, somewhat Egotistical, and if they aren't smart...talked about alot behind their backs. The Type B is more likely to be introverted, shy, cerebral, a follower rather than a leader, analytical, observant, and considered more of an outsider. These traits aren't mutually exclusive, there's a lot of crossing the lines, and that makes it harder, and I believe less valid that this labeling system is at all accurate.
There are two people I was friendly with who I'd label Type A without hestitation. Both of them were minimally educated, but "street smart". This isn't to say that all Type As are uneducated, it's just that the two examples I know, were. From my point of view, the Type A guy is more likely to get the girl. I think that harkens back to the early stages of man, where a woman wanted a good provider to produce strong, healthy, offspring and furnish food, shelter and protection for them. I'd label Donald Trump as a Type A, and he certainly doesn't fit into the "dumb jock" category. He does seem to lean heavily towards the obnoxious factor however.
I have a hard time categorizing myself, I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I certainly am not aggressive all the time, but I do have a competitive spark in me. I'm not a good loser, I want to win and when I don't, I used to let it bother me. It's only in my later years that I could easily shrug off a poor result of something I tried. I am not outgoing, but on the other hand, I did wangle a job as a disc jockey at a radio station out of sheer perseverance. I've done stand-up comedy, which isn't for the Shrinking Violets among us. I've bullshitted my way into jobs that I was marginally qualified for. I don't think those are features generally associated with Type B people.
I once had a girlfriend call me, " A disposable person". At the time it was early in our relationship, and I just took it as a joke, a jibe, a teasing comment. But more and more I really think she hit the nail on the head. When I look back at the people I hung out with, I was never the center of attention. One day we were hanging out at a small park, when another member of the group showed up and announced, " We were just over at the sandpits. They leave the keys in the trucks and we were driving them around..." One of the group who I was with turned to another and said, " Ya wanna go over there and drive the trucks?"
" Yeah, let's call Mark and Woody and have a demolition derby!" And the plot was devised. I didn't have to say, " Can I go too?" because it was just assumed that I was a part of the plan. However, if the same scenario arose and I wasn't on hand, the sentence, "Yeah, let's call Mark and Woody and Tony, and we'll have a demolition derby" would never have been spoken. When I was out of sight, I was truly out of mind. After numerous incidents similar to that, I asked myself, " Why am I trying so hard to hang out with people who don't give a shit about me?". I decided that I didn't need them, and I stopped going where I knew they'd be, or calling up on Friday night to ask what was going on. The results, I spent a lot of time alone. I've drifted through several groups of crowds I've hung with, and things always seem to turn out the same. I get along with them when I'm there, but once I'm gone, I'm forgotten. I don't enjoy being a loner, I'd much rather be a socialite, but since I've never found a spot where I fit in, I've decided not to force my way into a group, because that only fuels resentment. Maybe I should found a Type C Club, for all the people who don't quite fit the mold of the two types that are accepted. The only problem with that is, I think that eventually I'd be ignored, cast aside and forgotten.