Blue Jean

This is the title of a David Bowie song. I am not a huge Bowie fan, but I do like his innovative attitude towards music, and this song fits the bill. I've always been slim, thin, svelt, slender, skinny or whatever else you may want to call it. When I was a teen and preteen, fitting in was all a part of the process of aging that I was at odds with my parents about. The "Cool" kids in school wore Levis jeans. So of course I wanted to wear them as well. The ever popular quote, " If everyone was jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do that too?" always ended that argument for me. When I began buying my own clothes the Levis slim-fit jeans were the thing for me. The 517, 519 and the very first cargo pants The Bush Jeans were the style that I liked and the fit was perfect. These pants are no longer in production. I still have a 28 inch waist but I cannot find Levis that fit me suitably anymore. When I used to hear Levis ads on the radio, they used to end them with the tag line, " Quality Never Goes Out Of Style". That may be so, but who's going to buy it if the style goes out of quality? Recently they introduced the Levis Skinny Jeans. I foolishly bought a pair over the internet. They fit like they were cut for a woman. They have an extremely low rise waist, and they're tight in the crotch. This is perfect for anyone who doesn't have genitals, so Barbie and Ken can wear them but nobody else in the real world, other than the youth who like to sport their waist somewhere around their ankles can make this work. That's a look that I'm amazed has lasted so long, it sure as hell doesn't look comfortable! I like to carry my wallet, comb and a pen in my back pocket, but this mode of wearing jeans makes that a dangerous undertaking. The main thing is...how do they get their pants to stay mid-thigh? Do they Krazy Glue them on? Is there velcro on their knees? I am truly baffled by this. I've been told that this look was perpetuated by the notion that prisoners aren't allowed to have belts, so they walk around with their pants drooping all over the place. Who in their right mind says, " I want to look like I've been in prison"? I realize that fashion trends tend to go against what our predecessors wore, and that will always be so. But if something is uncomfortable, I don't care how hip it is, I ain't wearing it! I think I've got an incurable case of the Blue Jean Blues!